I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
