My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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