If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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