so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
