time to smoke my breakfast
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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