I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
