ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
