I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
