Whoa Z and x make the same sound
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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