Screwed.edu
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
