apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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