He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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