you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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