Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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