its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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