I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
