If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
