I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize