there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
