So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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