is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
