if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
