Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want to make out with him forever
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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