You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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