Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
