I cannot find my penis.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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