ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
