he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
