I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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