It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
