I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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