i was born a porn star she said
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
