before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
