3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
