Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
