i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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