omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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