Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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