yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
