would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
