i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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