So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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