Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
