when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
