I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
