Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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