i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
