She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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