Me too!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize