I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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