you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
