The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
