Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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