Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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