Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
