one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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